Chancellor Thrakbog

I think I might run a campaign to become the next chancellor of the people of the sausage tribe. Why shouldn’t I, right?

They had their ‘Frauenquote’, now it’s about time they get the ‘Orkquote’ which would be the logical next step in human stupidity, called political correctness.
But to be honest I can envison myself, quite cheerfully accepting a bunch of flowers after elections, eating them or throwing them in the face of some surprised human. Yes, that would be fun, wouldn’t it?

First I would make sure I get all the campaign contributions, meaning tax money will be thrown my way and I don’t have to visit The Agency. So instead of sucking all the money out of one human, a whole country would then pay for my living. Excellent.
Next, I would get myself lots of campaign advisers, consultants and coordinators, just in case something went wrong. I could yell at them, throw things at them, kick them out and have a really good time while doing so.
And if nothing goes wrong I will become chancellor and then I can do whatever I want anyway. Not that I don’t do that right now already. But there’s a difference in quality, I’m sure. There has to be.
I would travel around sausage land in several forms of tin, perhaps a metal band would accompany me, which would make my campaign appearances much more entertaining. Drinking contests, bar brawls, mayhem in strip clubs, all of this would further my reputation as a really good sport.
People will love or hate me, either way they would vote for me. If they don’t I start an uprising of the stupid masses.
I know a lot about that, trust me. Most of the time I am a stupid mass and I raise myself up almost every morning. Consider me qualified.
So, Chancellor Thrakbog. How does that sound? Lame, actually. Emperor would be so much better. But it’s a start. In the end it might have a ring to it that says Evil Overlord.

And now I’m gonna muse about all the things I would change as soon as I am in charge. Free beer for all sausage people. They have a high tolerance for alcohol I was told. Could be fun then to play ‘last man standing’. In the end it would probably be a she-human, only because they insist on their bloody Frauenquote.

Am I an ad(d)-orc?

I had a lengthy discussion (no yelling, I am SO learning to behave, it’s disgusting, really) with she-human about this new facebook thingy. You know, collecting all kinds of information about you, now even more than ever. She said that the organization wants more data about their users in order to individualize their advertising. I didn’t understand even half of it. What I DO know though, is that you never give your enemy more info than absolutely neccessary. Or simply wrong information, which makes it a lot more fun.
So, if I were to register at facebook, would they send me orc-related ads? What could that possibly be?
A “pillaging-do-it-yourself”-starter-set?
“Axe-polish, for the daily beheading”?
“Monster shop, everything for your pet”?
Actually, I think I’ll get myself an account and see what they’ll come up with. How will facebook deal with orcs?