This is about an evil wizard. He haunted and terrorized the whole area. People were hoping for help, but none came. Until one day a single orc accidently passed through the area and heard the people’s desperate plea.
That woud be me, that orc, right? Problem here is, why should I help the people? Wouldn’t I naturally ally with the evil wizard?
You want to have an adventure or not?
Yeah, well, okay. I help the people. For now.
Right. Nobody really knows what is going on in the dungeons underneath the vulcan but one old woman from the village shows you to the entrance. In case you had any further questions, she is gone the moment you turn around. Pretty quick for her age, you would think.
I don’t hesitate to enter the dungeon. Why should I, right? It is my natural habitat. Oh, wait, what’s
wrong with this door? I can’t get through.
Sorry, old boy. Didn’t I mention “evil wizard”? He shrank the whole dungeon in order to make it more difficult for huge and mighty heroes to enter.
What sort of wizard thinks like that? Probably a human. Now, let’s see. I follow this corridor to the left and turn around this corner and – hang on, what’s that tiny white thingy at the end?
It’s a zombie.
How cute. I’m gonna kill it.
The moment you step in front of the zombie you trigger a mechanism and the ground opens. You fall into a moist and dark pit. Fortunately it shrank with everything else when the wizard had cast his shrinking spell. So you’re tall enough to look over the edge of the pit. You can see the rotten feet of the zombie.
I’m gonna hack off its feet and then kill it. I’m doing it now. No cameras, sorry, guys.
Yep, that did go very well. Next to the zombie is a door by the way. Just in case you want to get out of the pit.
Yeah, yeah, don’t push me, okay? I’m trying to make the most of it here. Who knows when you’ll indulge me ever again. Just let me get the proper dungeon feeling.
You climb out of the pit and peek through the door. You see a bunch of skeletons, already awaiting you. They’re meager but eager.
One more rhyme like this and I pack my bags.
Sorry, I coudn’t resist.
That’s how I came to have four wives.
I think we should return to the skeletons.
I kill them?
Are you seriously asking me that?
Why was I in this dungeon again? Just remind me.
In order to save the people in the area from an evil wizard.
Oh, yeah, thanks. What do these bone piles have to do with it?
They’re probably the wizard’s minions. You know, just like you were to the dragon son.
Aaah, those were the days, glorious days.
Would you rather sit here and reminisce about the olden days = golden days?
What were the other options again? And stop rhyming, bloody hell!
Just bloody well fight, Thrakbog!!!
Now that’s the passion an orc needs to get into fight mode! Charge!
As you might have guessed, we’re playing HeroQuest (Sorry for the rhyme, Thrakbog). And this is our current monster gallery:
Yeah, and my human couldn’t be bothered to paint those tiny buggers. Typical. See you all next time, when I slay the bunch of skeletons.
Thrakbog - Toenail of Doom 