My human suggested that I should blog in a more conventional way but also revealing more of my orcish side. I do not need to tell you that she-human is full of those contradictions. And yet, I listened (partially) and did some research on what a proper blog should contain. Now I only need to fill it with the orcish spirit and that’s it then.
My research provided me with the following topics with which I might regale you over the course of the next couple of months. Perhaps you favor some over the others to read about? Let me know. So, here we go: Continue reading The orcish side of blogging
O tempora o miracula!
My human finally seems to see how badly she treated me lately, i.e. completely ignored me. This weekend she has some spare time, as it is a special one for many humans, they’re all celebrating the fact that their spiritual leader was put on a stick 2,000 years ago. I have met with one of those spiritual guys a few years ago, it was strange to say the least.
Anyway, we’re spending time together. I was desperate for a proper adventure and for once she indulged me. This is how it went:
My human has finally seen reason and gave up on this Alois guy (for now, she says). But instead of finally tending to my wishes she found something else to occupy her time: indoor gardening. Yes, she also has to do what she calls ‘work’, which from my point of view is no different to what she is doing the rest of day: computering. Or whatever you call that stuff. Me doing it right now, too. Hehe.
Anyway, she-human insists that we should be more eco-friendly. We had that before, remember? And how did that go? Don’t ask. But I finally saw a way to get her attention (I’m a sucker for my human’s attention, but I guess you figured that, right?): I help her with the green stuff.
Growing our own veggie stuff, is what she means by that. Producing lovely green orcs as offspring is what I would mean by growing green stuff, but never mind.
Myself being a wonderful shade of green I consider myself an expert on everything concerning that color. So, I joined in, cutting the giant plants. And in order to make it more fun I pretend there is a monster hiding in the green onions. That reminded me of the time when I went into the giant chives in order to get the monstrous fluffy spider. That was outdoor fun, now we’re indoors. Winter is coming. Again. I became rather fond of central heating I have to admit. Pretending to hunt the green onion monster was fun, at least for a bit. I moved very silently through the green jungle on the window sill….
And guess what? There it is. A green onion monster, I mean. Me. Muahahar. Pathetic? Yeah, well…, it is hard to be the only monster of my kind. I feel lonely, but does my human care? Well, she does, to be honest, but not nearly enough for my liking. Human monsters are so weird in their monstrosity that I can’t even tell them apart from the more friendly specimens of the species. So I stick to my human and her weird ideas about eco-orcs and orcish gardening. Or something like that.
Now I will prepare her breakfast. My fellow orcs must never know that I am so docile. Shut up, you.
I’m gonna take another adventurous journey and hop into Tarralan’s Dreamland. It sounds like a lot of fun (which my human does not). There’ll be monsters and perils of all sorts. What’s not to like about this? Continue reading One hell of a dream land this is
Remember when I told you that my human used to take me along on some adventures she called board games? And then she started to neglect me. Yeah, it’s a sad business, being the only orc in this world.
So, what with me being very adventurous on my own (who needs humans, tbh), I hopped onto the shelves where she stores them and found me some interesting looking stuff.
This is the first one I’m gonna take a closer look at. The guy on the front has some impressive forehead, I quite like him.
Continue reading What an Enterprise!