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A conspiracy of …, I don’t even know

Something very odd is going on. Let me explain.
My current she-human and the one I stayed with in London obviously share an interest in a certain story. If I may remind you of a series of posts a while ago, you’ll see what I mean.
The story is called Pride & Prejudice and my human in London made me read the book. It was the first time ever that I read anything other than tracks of monsters. And it didn’t end well, as I ate that book halfway through (when Prick Darcy proposed to Lizzy Bennet). Continue reading A conspiracy of …, I don’t even know

read-along part 6

Chapter 16
I am very tired of Mr. Collins’ long explanations and wonder how the Bennets can stand him just an hour longer.
So, Lizzy has taken an immediate fancy to this soldier Wickham. Still in the first quarter of the novel, I fear this bodes ill for her marital bliss with that guy.
You see, the strange thing is this: in this story the soldiers seem to be respectable and honorable men. From my personal experience with human soldiers I cannot confirm that impression. Quite the opposite, I have to say. Drunken mercenaries. Nothing wrong with that, if you ask me, but it’s such a striking difference in appearance that had me confused a bit. And to what use is the shiny red coat? Shouldn’t they wear some armor? If not chainmail at least some leather? There’s no mention of weapons either. They’re holding teacups. There’s something very wrong with that army.
Also, the way Wickham is described… Ms. Austen praises him too much methinks. I have become rather suspicious due to this dramatic story-telling thingy. And here’s the thing: a soldier prefering the idle chit-chat of the ladies instead of playing cards? Something is indeed very wrong with Wickham. Either he’s a real sissy or he has an ulterior motive. Probably both.
No, Lizzy! Come on! There must be more to this. Why should this complete stranger tell you his life story after only such a short acquaintance? Not that I think it beneath Prick Darcy to have treated Wickham badly. But the guy whines like a little girl. Why doesn’t he stand up to get what’s rightfully his? Sissy. He certainly has no pride at all. So finally we’re getting to the pride and the prejudice parts. Had me wondering already why the book was called like that.
This story is going to be really interesting. Human behaviour. Never ceases to confuse me.

Chapter 17
Chitchat, chitchat. Seriously, give the girls something more useful to occupy their time! Let them dig out some trenches. I mean, if there’s an army, then war is imminent, right?
I’m beginning to get the gist of this: in one chapter something new comes up, in the following chapter this is discussed and analysed extensively. So, now it’s the Darcy-Wickham business. For once I am with boring Jane: one does not know what to think. (In fact, that is often the case with me)
And finally Lizzy gets it too: she’s supposed to become Mrs. Collins. Even I was aware of it before she was. Does anybody gets to marry the person she or he really wants in this book? And what about that strange fact that the girls cannot leave the house when it rains? Is there a rain monster outside? What is wrong with these humans?