If you wonder how you got here, have a look at the ‘unto the board‘-section, otherwise follow me.
This is the adventure of the day:
My human offered me a variety of games to be played and naturally I picked a dungeon. It promised everything an orc needs for a bit of fun: a dungeon, a dragon a hoard to loot. What more could you possibly expect?
Oh, by the way, don’t worry about the language of the game, it’s kraut-language, I don’t understand it either. My human is a krautling, that’ll do. At the end of the adventure you’ll find more information about the game.
Right. Let’s start.
>First you have to pick a character, Thrakbog.<
I am a character, and a very mighty one. What else could you possibly want from me?
>No, you have to pick one in order to play the game. At least you need one of the characters stats. I’ll pick one for you.<
‘Siegfried Baerentatze’? Are you serious? Look at his legs! Nope, I’ll definitely go in as myself. And what is that? A magic ring? Well, okay, I take that one too.
I’m going in.
First step into the dragon’s vault. Entered a room that looks rather dull. She-human insists I take a look around.
^^ What’s that? Jewels! Now, that’s a nice surprise. Should I take another look around? No, I’m going to kick in that door to my left.
Hrgh, it’s a trap! What the…? Phew, only a scratch. You could have warned me!
>That’s part of the game, dear.<
So, what now? Door’s still not open.
>You could try it again or move back to where you came from and take another route.<
I’m an orc, I don’t take detours because of closed doors. Will kick it again then.
Ha! It opens into another room. There’s something in the corner, I’ll check it out. Hm. Dead human corpse.
>Corpses are usually dead.<
Shut up, I’m thinking.
Can I search the body?
>Is there any answer that would prevent you from doing it? Go on, search it.
A scorpion bites you. Take 2 wounds.<
You made that up! It’s totally random!
>Welcome to the adventures of the gaming world, Thrakbog.<
Hmpf. Any more random stuff or can I move on? Right, thanks.
Hm, room leads to the left again. What now? Follow the path?
It’s a corridor, leading further into the dungeon. Righty-ho.
Now I’m facing a portcullis. Oh, hang on, I’m wearing a ring for such an occasion, don’t I? The magic ring of Opening. So, open up, stupid portcullis.
Ah, another corpse in the next room. Searching or not searching that is the question.
>Quoting the bard again? Anyway, there’s nothing to be found here.<
Apparently not. Not even an exit. What now? There might be a secret hidden door, right? I’ll have a closer look.
Oh, what’s this? A potion? I wonder if it’s clever to pick it up. What does it do?
>It’s a ‘kill or cure’-sort of drink.
As you continue your search you find a golden ring.<
Nice. But what then? No secret doors, nor any other stuff.
>You have to go back and try another route. There might be hidden doors in the rooms you already passed through.<
So, I’m going back to the room with the dead corpse and inspect the walls.
Look, there you go. A secret door, leading to a corridor and a crossing. Naturally I go straight ahead, that’s the orcish way.
>It’s a trap. Bolts fire at you from the wall. But your armor protects you.<
As it should.
Moving on. Another corridor, again I ignore the crossing and enter into another room.
It’s a vault, I search it.
Oh, look, a golden band.
Are we nearly there yet? And what’s more important, are there no other creatures in this dungeon? I mean, apart from the dead ones? Next room, please.
>You face a goblin.<
*coughs* This is all you can come up with? Alright, bring it on!
>You kill it but it hurts you too.<
How do you know?
>I’m master of the game. It’s called ‘dice-rolling’.
Rule No. 1: Dice and Deities are more or less the same.<
Totally random! I might have just as well stayed with the capricious deities that used to push me around.
I continue on my chosen path, if you don’t mind.
What the…? There was a draft, my torch went out.
>So you stay where you are until it’s relit.<
But I’m an orc! I have dark vision. This isn’t fair!
>You, complaining about fairness? Really?<
Yeah, well… But I do have dark vision.
>Okay, okay. Move on then.<
Ha! This corridor leads me to the dragon’s hoard! Must be quiet now, ssshhhh.
>Now grab as much of the treasure as you like. But beware of the dragon, he might wake up and grill you instantly.<
*grabs shiny stuff at random*
*grabs more shiny stuff at random*
Oops, a book! I mean, really? I cannot read it. Might take it with me to give to Noden though.
>It could be cursed.<
*grabs more shiny stuff*
Hm, if I take any more of the stuff the dragon might actually be disturbed in his slumber.
>That’s a very unorcish calculation.<
Can I fight it?
>Nope. If it awakens you run (if you still can). Time to decide, Thrakbog.<
*grabs stuff, stubbornly*
>Don’t forget you’ll have to get out of the dungeon before sunset.<
Huh? Why didn’t you tell me before? I’m going back.
>On your way back you are stopped by a Death Warrior.<
>No, Death Warrior.<
*fights quick and dirty*
Now, that was fun.
I think I’m gonna drink that potion now.
Hrgh, it’s poisonous! Feel a bit wobbly now. Gonna
throw hurry up.
Victory! I’m alive! And filthy rich. How much gold did I gain?
>12.780 gold in coins and treasure.<
I have no idea how much that is. Anyway, that was actually quite entertaining. What next?
>Give me a break, please. Do have anything else to say about it?<
Absolutely! Who is this pretty orc-lady? We have to go back in so I can meet her!
Neither Thrakbog nor she-human owns the copyrights to this game. No money is earned at all.
German Drachenhort wiki