I am jealous. I’d say I am green with envy, but that would be an insult to my beautiful green skin. So, what happened? Gather round, folks, and hear me complain (again).
My human has found some other creature to occupy her time. But of all possible species why did she have to choose a troll? A dwarf would have been embarrassing, an elf would certainly have been ridiculous. But a troll? How humiliating is that? Let me tell you about this Alois guy.
He’s a troll. Did I mention that? Still cannot get over it. His name is Alois Hintertupfer. He works as a headhunter and seems to be rather successful. The world he lives in is alien to me, I’ve never been there (No, dear god that sent me here, I am NOT begging to be pushed through yet another portal!) but it does sound quite interesting. It is far more technical than any world I’ve ever visited (still not asking to be pushed, god), and we all know how I am with technical devices (I eat them if they annoy me, just in case you did not know). So, how come, a troll can deal with it? The truth is, he doesn’t. He got blown up. Then he had his eyes and ears replaced by cyberware. Now that stuff disturbs his technical gear. Hehe.
I have to admit he is a pretty good hunter though. And he keeps a little human for entertainment, just like I do (note to self: must not let my human read this post). He gets involved with politics and secret agencies, it is all very confusing to me. He seems to get along with it. That is what really bugs me. To find that I am being outsmarted by a troll. But what caught my interest even more is the fact that there are hot she-orcs in that world.
Had a quick word with my human just now. She says it’s all madey-upey. That whole world. That did appease me a bit. So, no troll that is cleverer than me. That did restore my ego a bit. But why can’t she make up a hot she-orc for me in this world? I have left all my wives in the last one. And as my human continues to spend time with this fictional Alois guy, I am lonely (I can hear you. Did you just go: aaawwww? Thanks.). Best way to proceed: keep her from writing and spend more time with me instead. But how? Will through her laptop out of the window. That will catch her attention. I always liked a good game of catch-the-orc (and will probably have to sleep on the balcony for the next couple of weeks for that).
Oh, btw, in case you are able to understand the language of the sausage tribe (i.e. german) you can read about this Alois troll here.