Fennel? Must be aliens then.

My human is highly disturbed (and disturbing).

Right, you might say, that is not entirely new information. But in her defense I have to add that I find what happened today mildly disturbing myself. Gather round, lads and lasses, and hear me out.

My human hates fennel. She finds it so disgusting, that even the smell of fennel tea almost makes her vomit. She has told me so in no uncertain terms more than once, because I quite like it and was banned to the balcony whenever I merely suggested we might have a cuppa.

Today I caught her drinking fennel tea.

Asked WTF?, she looked at me with utter horror in her eyes, knowing immediately what I meant. She could not believe it herself. Not only did she NOT vomit, but she rather enjoyed the taste. Devastated, she assumed that the previous night she must have been abducted by aliens who probed her mind, sort of brain-washed her, to make her like fennel tea.

Personally I think my orcish charms finally worked on her and she secretly wants to please me. Although she would never openly admit that. She has commitment issues. Why she should be ashamed to have a relationship with a proper orc is beyond me. So, I let her believe it was fennel-aliens who did it. She is not someone to be gainsaid. I learned that the hard (cold/wet) way, spending endless hours/days on the balcony for various reasons.

Next, I will put my orcish charms to even better use: will make her like roasted rat breast on toast with hot sauce. And a slice of fennel. Hehe.

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