Thrakbog goes to Hollywood. Or maybe not.

Sounds like a musical, actually.Thrakbog goes to Hollywood

Now I have a picture in my head of a row of dancing orcs in tutus, smiling brightly as they sing a happy tune. I got to throw up any second now. Here’s what caused this odd string of thoughts (and I use the word ‘thoughts’ quite loosely): My human is reading a lot of stuff about social media blabla. A recurring theme is that bloggers and twitterites etc. should present themselves as in-demand experts in order to gain more followers, traffic, whatever.
Now, here’s the thing:
Where I come from I was a much in-demand expert on slaughter, pillage, chaos and mayhem. Here, in this world, I see that a subsantial number of humans can provide the same amount of horror all by themselves. I feel betrayed.
Should I sue them? Humans seem to have a weakness for court cases as they indulge in it quite regularly. I have a bit of a problem with swearing oaths of honour etc., so maybe I really shouldn’t go there.
Should I branch out? What could be a possible alternative for a violent, careless, lazy and mindless creature like me? Already I can hear you say “Politics should be your choice then, Thrakbog” but I’ve been there before. Didn’t work out for me, to be honest. See? Honesty is not what I have been renowned for. This is what my human has turned me into: a polite and considerate monster. It’s disgusting. To think that my fellow orcs could see me like this simply gives me the creeps. Next I will find cats cute instead of delicious. Urgh! But in no way I could become a politician with this handicap, right? (Not the cat-eating, the politeness, I mean) So, maybe this whole musical thing is not so far off? Showbiz might be a niche where I could settle quite nicely. There have been others before me, I know for sure about orcs in films. So, maybe I should go to Hollywood after all. I’ve had some encounter with actors before even though it was not very encouraging. Perhaps, as I constantly seem to burp up quotes from The Bard, I might have a closer look at his work again. From what I heard his plays are rather gory. Now, that’s my kind of bard. But, just to make this perfectly clear, I am NOT going to do this singing in the rain-stuff!
Shut up. I’m NOT.


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