A conspiracy of …, I don’t even know

Something very odd is going on. Let me explain.
My current she-human and the one I stayed with in London obviously share an interest in a certain story. If I may remind you of a series of posts a while ago, you’ll see what I mean.
The story is called Pride & Prejudice and my human in London made me read the book. It was the first time ever that I read anything other than tracks of monsters. And it didn’t end well, as I ate that book halfway through (when Prick Darcy proposed to Lizzy Bennet).
Now it seems that my current human owns that book as well. And not only that, she also has a film version of it (or several). Recognizing my strange interest (I’d have called it shock), she offered to watch it with me. Guess what happened next.
I should have known that she’d choose the longest possible version she owns. Will I ever learn? No need to answer that, thanks.
So, there we were, yesterday, watching a miniseries of P&P. And guess what? The whole thing was done after 6 hours! It took me days to read the first half of the bloody book, while I could have been through with it in such a short time! It makes me want to go back to London and tell my former flat-human how angry this made me.

Anyway, we watched all night. I remembered some of the stuff in the first half but I had imagined those humans quite differently, especially the duells with the teacups. Turned out there was no fighting at all, just talking. A lot of talking. Practically everone had an opinion on almost everything. And then Prick Darcy proposed and I felt the weight of the paperback edition in my stomach as if I had digested it only hours before and not months ago. I cheered Lizzy when she turned him down, definitely a female that knows what she wants. I was quite impressed by Darcy’s aunt though, a terrifying figure that would make quite an impression in an orc camp too.
In the end I was sort of disappointed that Prick Darcy became so soft and cuddly. I didn’t want him for my dear Lizzy but I had admired his guts. To see him begging and crawling only proves that in marriage the female of any species gets the upper hand. Why should he fare better than me? Exactly.

On an afterthought: My human has a lot of books which I avoid like the plague. But she also owns quite a few of these films she calls deeveedees. Might have another go. Do you think ‘War & Peace’ might be something for my tastes?


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