Orcs’ Progress

It just dawned on me that I might safely boast to be the only orc proficient with social networks. Okay, it always depends on how you define proficieny but I think I’m doing rather well, Given the fact that I had been illiterate when I arrived in this world. That brings me to the question how I could use this newly gained knowledge after my return home. She-human tells me the little device I’m currently using will be utterly pointless in my own world as long as no one invented electricity, the internet or four-layered toilet paper.
I very much appreciate the latter but cannot see the connection to my blogging device. She insists that it matters though. I have to admit that I frequent the room named bath a lot while tweeting so maybe that’s what she meant.
The matter of electricity though, hm, I’m sure it can be substituted by magic somehow. Noden will know.
Anyway, the problem remains how to harness this new ability at home. Social networking in itself is such a foreign thing to my fellow orcs that I must be prepared to face some violent arguments. Nothing wrong with that, mind you, but I never really took any trouble convincing anyone of anything they did not wish to know. In this case I might find it worth my time to go through a lot of trouble. First of all I need to abduct one of the humans that invented the whole shit and take him/her/it/whatever with me. Next I have to make sure said person lives long enough to invent the stuff in my world again. This could prove fairly difficult. But imagine the advantages to be gained! Orcs being able to communicate all over my world! Finally we would prove that we are indeed superior. To be honest the social part of the networking thing might get the short end of the stick but that’s not unexpected, right? There is a drawback thought that gives me pause. Imagine my wives constantly being able to contact their families, relatives, lots of other females? Also, the devices surely need some improvement, especially concering their outdoor durability. Orcs like to live rough, the device wouldn’t last a single day under such conditions. Also the device would need armor. Battle proof.
But what I’m really looking forward to is this: downloading orc music. Heavy Metal bands, we practically invented them but so far only humans profit from it. I want progress in my world, too. Access to the internet should be a basic orcish right.


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