Of politics and butts

Kraut-land is odd, very odd indeed. Not only do they indulge in something called politics – which not even inlcudes huge axes and hammers – but they do it with such an amount of correctness that makes it practically disgusting.
Gird your loins, folk and gather round, I tell you what disturbs me:

Tomorrow is called ‘women’s day’, apparently. To give the female folk one day of the year to do as they please, that’s okay, I could live with that.
But here in kraut-land the professional politicians (which is basically a nice way to say ‘sissy’) have come up with such a strange idea that leaves me rather confused.
In order to make sure that more women are enabled to enter powerful positions in companies there will be a guaranteed percentage of 30% of females on every supervisory board.
It’s as if someone would say to me: “You can have ten wives, Thrakbog, but three of them must be male.” I mean, WTF?
I don’t get it. Seriously. She-human tried to explain it to me. So, women suffer from discrimination in this world. Well, of course they do! That’s the whole point of being male, is it not? Running this world as if it belonged to us. And so it does. How stupid must a male be to give up his supremacy? 30%! Honestly, I do not even know how much that is. But I do know, it is far too much anyway. As orcs are superior to humans, so are the males to the females. Anyone not agreeing with me is invited to debate it with an axe. That’s the material point. I use an axe to make my opinion clear. She-human says that we must overcome that. Talk about things. The question is: why? As long as I have my axe…

There is something else that troubles me. Today I learned that females with a larger butt give birth to smarter childen. That shows the orcish dilemma in a nutshell.
Here’s what I mean:
Male orcs must eat. A lot. That leaves the females sometimes hungry. But the skinny females give birth to stupid children. Meaning, the father is never outsmarted by his children. Which is good. We can’t have that, can we. I am the perfect example of it.
On the other hand, females try and grab as much food as possible while the men are still on the battelfield, stuffing it down their throats before the males come home. That way they get fat and sexy, which makes it more likely that males will produce more offspring which then is cleverer than the father. Not good. Life expectancy is shortened. It is the ultimate dilemma for every male orc. Perhaps a guaranteed percentage of fat wives and smart children is in order…

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