I should write a book. Seriously.
As I found out, the human I am currently sharing a flat with has quite a substantial number of books (don’t make me count them, let’s say: a lot). And some of these are about orcs. ‘Hang on’ you gonna think, and rightly so. How come that humans write books about creatures that
a) do not exist around here (at least to their knowledge, we know better of course) and
b) are not their own species?
How dare they.
So, by all means, I should be the one writing such a book, correct? Correct. Because who would know everything orcish better than me?
I asked she-human about those books on her shelve and she told me a bit about them. Either the orcs in those stories are nice and misunderstood, which makes us look like the better humans (in fact orcs are indeed the better humans, but in quite a different matter. We enjoy the pillaging and looting and do not pretend to be oh so sorry for taking away everything that matters).
Or the author portrays us as mindless stupid canon-fodder. We are mindless and stupid but that actually makes us incredibly dangerous and by no means an easy target.
If I had written these books, the outcome would have been different. So maybe I should give it a go. As I do not enjoy the bloody typing (claws still don’t go well with the little electronic device or the thing that she-human calls ‘keyboard’ which is attached to a bigger device that I occasionally use
with her permi . Well, I use it. I consider dictating my ideas, and her typing them. On the other hand, to make sure she writes down exactly what I say, I would have to read it afterwords. What fun could that be, reading something I already know? Okay, I’m gonna write it myself.
It should be about the history and origin of the orcish race, the incredibly impressive ways that we found to adapt to the natural environment. Did you know that there are sea-orcs? Forget about those funny human pirates. Orc-pirates rule! Naturally.
And then there are snow-orcs. Actually I think this Yeti-guy could be one of us. Still considering a trip to this mountain where it has been spotted.
What do you think? She-human seems to like the idea, she suggested to take a look at someone else’s work to see how it is done. This Tacitus guy obviously has written a short piece on the sausage-folk a couple of years ago. Short is always good (well, not ALWAYS), so I will have a look at it. I’ll let you know when I start writing. You can also make suggestions what you would like to read about in particular.