Let me ask you one question:
WT actual F is a working week?
I find it difficult enough that a week in this world only lasts seven days but working for five and then resting for two is a bit of an eye-opener tbh. No wonder that orcs are superiour. And it also caused an enormous amount of trouble this morning, as I got caught sneeking into the flat of the she-human I had selected to be my flat-share (unbeknownst to her, or so I thought).
But she-human had not gone to work. And why?
Because it’s f*** saturday!
And most kraut-humans obviously do not go to work but stay in bed on saturday mornings. So imagine the shrill outcry when we came face to face (or rather face to impressive broad chest) in the room called Bed (Very uncreative these humans. It was the same name that she-human in London called her room for sleeping). She did yell, too. But the strangest thing happened next: She called me by my name.
It went like this:
Me: Um, yes?
She: This cannot be true. I thought you were…
She: Not real. A twitter character. Someone made up. I mean, I’ve been following you for months. But now you look like an orc and you smell like one even more.
She: You okay?
Me: I think I need a bit of a sit-down, actually.
Only then did it occur to her that it might not have been the first time that I had sneeked into her flat.
She: So you actually are a mean and nasty and ugly and horrible, violent creature?
I was moved by her passionate words and could only nod, not trusting my voice at all. Couldn’t afford to sob after such a characterization, could I.
There was clearly a battle af fear and curiosity going on inside her, mixed with a healthy portion of insanity and incredulity.
She: Why are you here?
Me: You read about it. Some deity dropped…
She: No, I mean here in my flat?
Me: I need a place to stay and it’s fucking cold outside.
She: But why my flat?
Me: I’ve been following you…
She: Well now, that makes it all okay then. ARE YOU MAD?
So, fear obviously had lost the battle. Shame. Looking forward to the insanity bits though. Also on the plus side: I moved in.