read-along part 5

Chapter 11
Watching some other person read a book is not proper entertainment for the evening. Go, end your life, Ms. Bingley. Prick Darcy won’t have you anyway. Uuuh, what is she doing? Dragging Lizzy into this? Big mistake, Caroline, very big mistake. I don’t get half of the banter between Prick and Lizzy but even I can see that he enjoys it far more than anyone expected, probably including himself. Maybe he likes to be bossed around for once. I have to admit she has an interesting dominant streak.

Chapter 12
Whatever goes on in Prick Darcy’s head, I don’t get it. Does he fancy Lizzy or not? If so, why hesitate? The fact that she has a mind of her own should make the hunt only more fun. Like I said: impotent prick.
And someone should have told Ms. Austen that she cannot mention a whipping just in passing. More details, please. What did the soldier do? How many lashes did he get?

Chapter 13
Addition to the family party? Is Mr. Bennet finally taking a second wife? Oh no, I forgot. Not allowed. I’m just as confused as Mrs. Bennet right now. And I certainly have a bit of a problem with Mr. Bennet’s sense of humour.
An heir. A total stranger, an heir? Hm, at least that guy seems to see the injustice of it all. Not that I usually care a lot for justice. I really don’t get it: How can some theoretical construction called “The Law” overrule Mr. Bennet’s wish to bequeath his property to whomever he likes? And what kind of guy is this clergyman? I’m quite sure he as nothing in common with the clerics of my tribe. Still no fight in sight. The most wimpish creature I ever beheld. I can perfectly imagine him babbling endlessly, much to the Bennets’ chagrin.

Chapter 14
So why can’t Mr. Collins marry Lady Catherine and be off? Why didn’t Ms. Austen think of that? My human explains that first of all the Lady is a noble woman and someone like Collins was far beneath her status. I get that. Also she tells me about drama in story telling. (I feel a bit relieved but also slightly miffed about the fact this does not seem to be a true story but only made-up) So, apparently before it can get better it must get worse. Considering the fact that I’m not even halfway through the book this makes me fear the worst for myself and Mrs. Bennet.

Chapter 15
Oh, now there’s a nice characterization of Mr. Collins. Self-conceit and a weak mind. Actually that sounds a lot like myself. Am I like this clergyman? No way. He’s an ingratiating weakling, I am a fearless warrior. Simple minded, yes, but you don’t need to do mathematical equations when entering a dungeon full of gnomes. There will be plenty. I would like to see Mr. Collins in that dungeon (any kind of dungeon, actually). Perhaps he might chatter the gnomes to sleep. But back to the chapter.
So, he wants to marry one of the girls, any of them would do as it seems. With Jane being already pretty much spoken for it can only be poor Lizzy as the next in line. Mrs. Bennet seems only too happy to get Lizzy out of the house. Certainly that is a very sensible point of view but to marry Lizzy off to this clergyman? I assume again this has a lot to do with drama of story telling? (Human nods enthusiastically. I think she looks rather proud of me.)
And now this soldier, Wickham. Too good to be true, isn’t he? This bodes us no good. The fact that he and Prick Darcy seem to know each other and their reactions when they met allows for some hope that there’ll be blood. Finally.

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