read-along part 4

Before I continue with my views on the book let me confide something.
Reading about all of Mrs. Bennet’s daughters put me in a strange kind of mood. I miss them, my own daughters I mean. Not that I wish to be with them (my nerves are just as strained as poor Mrs. Bennet’s), but still. It’s not an easy task to find a proper husband for any of them. To be honest, I had left it mostly to themselves to find one. Well, I more or less pushed two of them into the tents of my friends (the tribe’s cleric and Noden). It goes like this: if they don’t get out immediately that counts as marriage. At least where I come from. This whole courtship-thingy sounds very tiresome. And it’s getting poor Mrs. Bennet nowhere. The husband is basically useless. I wonder if my wives regard me as such a lazy bugger. Should I have taken more responsibility to get rid of the girls? To be honest I don’t want to get rid of Shonka. She’ll make a great warrior one day, pretty much already is a frightful sight to behold. And she doesn’t fancy male orcs anyway. Oh, hang on! Maybe that’s at the root of Mr. Darcy’s problems with women. He might fancy his friend more than the ladies. Would explain a lot. Let’s see how the story unfolds:

Chapter 8
Most of the time I don’t even get it what all these women are up to. They pretend to care about each other but obviously they don’t. They fake liking each other, yet they seem to be bordering on a good fight (preferably with some mud and.., well). And all the while the men are totally oblivious to the whole business. Also what struck me is the fact that they have nothing to do. The women have far too much time for themselves. Are there no hides to be tanned? No prisoners to be taunted? Oh, wait a minute, maybe Ms. Bingley regards Jane as her prisoner? What a wicked way to handle it! I’m beginning to like her a bit.

Chapter 9
Hehe, your house shall never be free of Bennets, Mr. Darcy. Now the mother comes visiting with two more daughters. She’s really into this marrying off thing. Take that, Prick Darcy. Mrs. Bennet is not afraid to give you her true opinions. And Prick Darcy now talking poetry says it all, really.

Chapter 10
Jup, that is proof enough. Darcy is totally ignorant about the women’s advances. He fancies his friend Mr. Bingley which is a hopeless case as Bingely is smitten with Jane. Serves him right. Apparently Bingley’s sister is unaware of it (as is Bingley himself) and continues her advances on Darcy. Should we pity him? Pity her? Neither, I say.

Right, that was the 10th chapter. About as many kids I have (I think) and I cannot count much further. As I can see I have not even read a quarter of the book. My dearest wish right now: that there will be some action very soon. My human laughs hysterically again, so by experience I shouldn’t get my hopes up too high. One tiny little monster or a quick skirmish would get me a long way right now. Please, Ms. Austen. One fight. Just one.


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